I'm sitting here listening to my favorite soundtrack of all time... "Jesus Christ Superstar" It seems weird to say it's a favorite but I do love it. It makes me sad but it tells a great story and one that is so important in my life. It always makes me think and think hard.
I often find myself trying to imagine living then. Who would I be? Would I be a disciple? Would I get it? Would I be like them and stay confused? Would understand any better than they did?
I like to think that I'm would but honestly, I have the benefit of hindsight, of knowing the whole story. I have the benefit of years of commentary, explanations, explanations of the parables, the metaphors. The disciples had Jesus right there with them but they also had their recent past, and the current situations that all influenced them and their understanding.
As I listen to Jesus ask "will no one stay awake with me", I'm brought to tears. Would I have? Would I have stayed awake with him? Do I now? Am I awake? Am I paying attention? Do I hear what he is saying to me? Do I hear what he is calling me to do? Am I there for him?
That question. Am I there for him? Wow, I've never thought of it that way before just this very moment.
Jesus was asking the disciples to be there for him, with him, and they fall asleep on him. They missed this opportunity! What an opportunity!
Am I missing it? Am I sleeping through it, through opportunities that Jesus is calling me to, that God is calling me, is asking me to be there for and with him?
Oh goodness, I surely hope not but it is definitely something for me to ponder on, to consider during this Holy Week.
Am I awake? Are you awake?
I often find myself trying to imagine living then. Who would I be? Would I be a disciple? Would I get it? Would I be like them and stay confused? Would understand any better than they did?
I like to think that I'm would but honestly, I have the benefit of hindsight, of knowing the whole story. I have the benefit of years of commentary, explanations, explanations of the parables, the metaphors. The disciples had Jesus right there with them but they also had their recent past, and the current situations that all influenced them and their understanding.
As I listen to Jesus ask "will no one stay awake with me", I'm brought to tears. Would I have? Would I have stayed awake with him? Do I now? Am I awake? Am I paying attention? Do I hear what he is saying to me? Do I hear what he is calling me to do? Am I there for him?
That question. Am I there for him? Wow, I've never thought of it that way before just this very moment.
Jesus was asking the disciples to be there for him, with him, and they fall asleep on him. They missed this opportunity! What an opportunity!
Am I missing it? Am I sleeping through it, through opportunities that Jesus is calling me to, that God is calling me, is asking me to be there for and with him?
Oh goodness, I surely hope not but it is definitely something for me to ponder on, to consider during this Holy Week.
Am I awake? Are you awake?
Hi Sherri, The questions you pose are important ones--some of the same ones I've asked myself. I'd like to think that I would have acknowledged Jesus as Messiah had I been there; however, all of us today have the benefit of a couple thousand years too! As I read your post, I recalled a song that I learned while taking voice lessons in college (early/mid 1990s) "Jesus, Lord to Me"--it asks some of the same questions that you have asked here. (Sorry I can't share the song with you--I've been unable to find it on the internet when I've searched for it. I think it's a Sandi Patti song.)
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Hi Kim! Thanks your comment. Is this the song you remember?
DeleteJesus Jesus Lord to me
Master Savior Prince of Peace
Ruler of my heart today
Jesus Lord to me
Verse 1
If I had seen the sunset
On the day that Jesus died
And felt the glow of the sunrise
When the tomb was opened wide
Would I have known You
Could I have seen that
You were more than just a man
You were Lord and King
But now I know You and I can see
That You are Lord of all
And You are Lord to me
Verse 2
If I had walked beside
As You touched and healed the blind
And heard You speak with power
If I had seen Your gentle smile
Would I have followed or turned away
Would I have listened to the things You had to say
But now I trust You
I hear You call
Now I follow I give You my all
Verse 3
If I had seen the manger
Where the tiny baby lay
And felt the power of that moment
When all heaven sang Your praise
Would I have knelt to worship
Or just passed along the way
Would I have loved You
The way I do today
But now You are my Savior
You're the King of kings
I will bow to worship You
and I will sing
I found it another person singing it on youtube... https://youtu.be/nSmlBDtEQDk
Thanks!
Yes, this is the song I referred to. Although, the version I sang didn't have the third verse. :) It's fun to hear the arrangement that you shared. It's slightly different (due to the extra instruments, I think).
DeleteThanks!
I was so curious, I had to go looking! Glad I found it and was able to share it with it you. :o)
DeleteUpdate. Now that I think about it--there was only ONE verse. Blessings!
DeleteI'm assuming it was the first verse above? I think it really says it all! :o)
DeleteYes. It was just the first verse, shown above.
DeleteYes! Are we awake or are we sleeping? Are we standing vigil with our Lord, or are we simply copping out?
ReplyDeleteWe are so like the disciples, aren't we?
I'd like to think I'd have been able to stay awake with Jesus in the garden and to not, as Peter later did, deny Him, but I know differently. I am sinful and in need of forgiveness and grace. The disciples, in the aftermath of Jesus' resurrection, illustrate that power the best.
Love and blessings to you!
Hi Martha! Yes, you are right, the 'come back' of the disciples when they figured it all out is such a great testimony of grace.
DeleteThank you!