I've been rather silent lately. Honestly, I've been struggling some and I just don't know what to say right now.
I've been struggling with... what I should be doing, where I should be and with... well... how things are in a certain area of my life. Things are not... great lately.
Oh, I'm fine and my family is as wonderful as ever but there are other places in my life that leave me feeling... sad, confused and uncertain. I'm uncertain how to proceed.
I've been struggling with this for quite sometime. It's a struggle that ebbs and flows. Sometimes it is strong and other times, I feel like the struggle is over and just as soon as I do... I'm pushed and pulled back into this quagmire. It often leaves me feeling lost and alone, which makes it hard to blog.
It's hard to write encouragingly and for others when you are discouraged and yes, that's what I have been. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting a never ending fight.
If you have read here much you probably know that I really, really want to serve. I want to answer that calling on my life. No, I'm not always sure what exactly that calling is but I know it's there because I'm not happy if I'm not actively seeking to answer it but I seem to always be hitting road bumps or detours or total road closures and it's so frustrating.
I feel myself pulling way, not from God or my faith but from where I think I am supposed/want to serve and answer the calling. I'm lost and not sure what to think or do. I'm trying to just quiet myself and take a few steps back to see where He is leading me. You know, letting go of the reins a bit.
Funny thing... as I was typing this I decided to do what I always do when I'm blogging, or struggling, or looking for guidance... I turned to my Bible and look what I found.
From the Message, Matthew 11:29-30
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Oh my... yes, I am tired and worn out and even a little burned out on religion! Well organized religion anyway. I love that he says he won't lay anything heavy on me. Oh, things have been heavy on me, super heavy and I've been rethinking some of those things and starting to let them go because I'm not sure that that was really what He had planned for me and according to this... I feel like it's probably not because it has been heavy.
This just really spoke to me and relieved me and comforted me. I love it. I read it first in the NIV and it did the same but then I thought I'd see what The Message said and well, it was even better. Glad I like to compare versions of the Bible. It makes such a difference.
I've been struggling with... what I should be doing, where I should be and with... well... how things are in a certain area of my life. Things are not... great lately.
Oh, I'm fine and my family is as wonderful as ever but there are other places in my life that leave me feeling... sad, confused and uncertain. I'm uncertain how to proceed.
I've been struggling with this for quite sometime. It's a struggle that ebbs and flows. Sometimes it is strong and other times, I feel like the struggle is over and just as soon as I do... I'm pushed and pulled back into this quagmire. It often leaves me feeling lost and alone, which makes it hard to blog. It's hard to write encouragingly and for others when you are discouraged and yes, that's what I have been. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting a never ending fight.
If you have read here much you probably know that I really, really want to serve. I want to answer that calling on my life. No, I'm not always sure what exactly that calling is but I know it's there because I'm not happy if I'm not actively seeking to answer it but I seem to always be hitting road bumps or detours or total road closures and it's so frustrating.
I feel myself pulling way, not from God or my faith but from where I think I am supposed/want to serve and answer the calling. I'm lost and not sure what to think or do. I'm trying to just quiet myself and take a few steps back to see where He is leading me. You know, letting go of the reins a bit.
Funny thing... as I was typing this I decided to do what I always do when I'm blogging, or struggling, or looking for guidance... I turned to my Bible and look what I found.
From the Message, Matthew 11:29-30
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Oh my... yes, I am tired and worn out and even a little burned out on religion! Well organized religion anyway. I love that he says he won't lay anything heavy on me. Oh, things have been heavy on me, super heavy and I've been rethinking some of those things and starting to let them go because I'm not sure that that was really what He had planned for me and according to this... I feel like it's probably not because it has been heavy.
This just really spoke to me and relieved me and comforted me. I love it. I read it first in the NIV and it did the same but then I thought I'd see what The Message said and well, it was even better. Glad I like to compare versions of the Bible. It makes such a difference.
Dear Sherri,
ReplyDeleteGod loves you and does not want you to be burdened with your task. Serving others can be full on and He knows that. That is why loving God is about relationship and not religion. When we become tired it is because we are putting on our aprons of service, our interpretation of what service is. God's service is all to do with relationship, our relationship with Him. Do not be burdened with what you should or feel you should be doing, be still with God and he will show you what service he wants you to perform. Align yourself with Him. We are all good at running ourselves ragged. First God, then what He wants. Sometimes he just wants us to be, so that he can empower us. Bringing love to others is what is important, God's love that is and that is in the small as well as the big things. He will guide you, just be with him, and let Him decide when that is to be. God bless
Thank you.
DeleteSherri I have been right where you are. God showed me a calling he put on my life 7 years ago, and I continually hit road blocks every time I stepped out. It wasn't time. I am now operating in that calling just this past year. :)
DeleteWaiting can be so boring at times but it's in that waiting that God puts all the pieces together. Rest and enjoy the silence.